I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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