my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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