Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
