Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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