i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
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