I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
