Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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