Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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