who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
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