I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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