so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
