this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
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