Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Randomize