Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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