dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
home. puking in laundry basket.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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