we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Randomize
