I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
Randomize
