I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Randomize
