Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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