Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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