but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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