i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Randomize
