So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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