it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Randomize
