guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I intend to get homeless drunk
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Randomize
