Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
i permit you to call me
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
