Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
