If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
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