I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Randomize
