You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
