I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
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