Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
as a side note pls kill me
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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