I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
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