I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
These tits shall not be calmed
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
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