haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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