The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Drake has all the answers
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Randomize