dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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