You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
