This is not my ceiling
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
