if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Randomize
