You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
high people should be assigned attendants
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
