There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Randomize
