i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I am full of burrito and curiosity
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
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