yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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