So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Princesses don't give blow jobs
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
