so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
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