Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
i would punch a child for taco bell
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I need to sanitize my soul.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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