Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
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