Texts From Last Night

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  (330): View more from Ohio

  so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.

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  (330): so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv. http://tfl.nu/d9vr
  Replies (62) Good night (2190) Bad night (609)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."

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  (720): Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open." http://tfl.nu/m5a9
  Replies (26) Good night (5213) Bad night (578)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head

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  (617): You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head http://tfl.nu/n3kb
  Replies (5) Good night (1136) Bad night (4079)
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  (347): View more from New York

  i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours

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  (347): i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours http://tfl.nu/3wc8
  Replies (33) Good night (4390) Bad night (1756)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER

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  (203): my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER http://tfl.nu/olos
  Replies (30) Good night (1003) Bad night (5390)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?

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  (410): I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever? http://tfl.nu/67g4
  Replies (75) Good night (20837) Bad night (1094)
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  (510): View more from California

  you told grandpa to call you daddy

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  (510): you told grandpa to call you daddy http://tfl.nu/jb8d
  Replies (10) Good night (1266) Bad night (4975)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  come over i need a lifeguard for my shower

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  (732): come over i need a lifeguard for my shower http://tfl.nu/1qns
  Replies (29) Good night (9738) Bad night (1408)
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  (740): View more from Ohio

  I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.

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  (740): I am planning my day around naps and lesbians. http://tfl.nu/iw15
  Replies (6) Good night (3239) Bad night (757)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station

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  (303): Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station http://tfl.nu/qhlw
  Replies (6) Good night (893) Bad night (1671)
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  (517): View more from Michigan

  I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet

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  (517): I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet http://tfl.nu/acf5
  Replies (1) Good night (2253) Bad night (682)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.

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  (404): Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend. http://tfl.nu/3in8
  Replies (2) Good night (1585) Bad night (604)
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  (636): View more from Missouri

  Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.

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  (636): Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome. http://tfl.nu/7z1r
  Replies (4) Good night (1165) Bad night (789)
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  (864): View more from South Carolina

  Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.

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  (864): Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype. http://tfl.nu/2egz
  Replies (5) Good night (1610) Bad night (340)
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  (520): View more from Arizona

  So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational

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  (520): So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational http://tfl.nu/op3j
  Replies (1) Good night (645) Bad night (399)

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