Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

Favorite
(612): View more from Minnesota

im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(612): im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me http://tfl.nu/erth

Replies (72) Good night (1142) Bad night (2519)
Favorite
(586): View more from Michigan

You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(586): You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup. http://tfl.nu/ddou

Replies (10) Good night (3331) Bad night (1211)
Favorite
(313): View more from Michigan

mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(313): mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz http://tfl.nu/kyga

Replies (21) Good night (656) Bad night (1820)
Favorite
(508): View more from Massachusetts

VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(508): VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING. http://tfl.nu/vx02

Replies (22) Good night (5275) Bad night (839)
Favorite
(610): View more from Pennsylvania

so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(610): so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried. http://tfl.nu/cyhc

Replies (12) Good night (1058) Bad night (5121)
Favorite
(613): View more from Ontario

You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(613): You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one http://tfl.nu/l60l

Replies (5) Good night (5130) Bad night (1102)
Favorite
(650): View more from California

I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(650): I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes http://tfl.nu/pban

Replies (21) Good night (5040) Bad night (1664)
Favorite
(469): View more from Texas

Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(469): Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right? http://tfl.nu/axfy

Replies (9) Good night (1037) Bad night (2934)
Favorite
(309): View more from Illinois

I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(309): I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights. http://tfl.nu/c1hf

Replies (5) Good night (1669) Bad night (1321)
Favorite
(850): View more from Florida

He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(850): He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket." http://tfl.nu/lw9r

Replies (2) Good night (1594) Bad night (740)
Favorite
(778): View more from British Columbia

We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(778): We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in? http://tfl.nu/nu3d

Replies (11) Good night (1250) Bad night (3065)
Favorite
(817): View more from Texas

Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(817): Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter. http://tfl.nu/zoc6

Replies (6) Good night (628) Bad night (1501)
Favorite
(513): View more from Ohio

OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(513): OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD http://tfl.nu/fbed

Replies (15) Good night (1260) Bad night (673)
Favorite
(302): View more from Delaware

The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(302): The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number. http://tfl.nu/o057

Replies (6) Good night (848) Bad night (873)
Favorite
(240): View more from Maryland

I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard
(240): I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me. http://tfl.nu/xr2y

Replies (1) Good night (441) Bad night (611)

Randomize

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard