Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2