No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.