I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
