hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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