Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize