It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
