just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
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