my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
tell me about the fingering
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