your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Randomize
