I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
