There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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