Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
