You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
